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June 19, 2018

Sneak peek: Over a fifth of Brits confess to checking their partner’s phone on the sly

Infidelity is nothing new, but with so many free social media platforms and social apps available, has the temptation to cross the line become easier than ever before?

 

We set out to find the number of Brits who have used their mobile phone to help them commit infidelity, whether it’s simply by texting, or taking greater measures to ensure the secret stays safe by downloading password protected apps.

 

The results revealed that a shocking one-in-five (21%) Brits have used their phone to help them cheat on a partner, with Facebook Messenger being the biggest partner in crime!

 

The top five ways in which cheaters have used their mobile phones to be unfaithful:

  1. Sent messages to someone else on Facebook Messenger (39%)
  2. Called them when their partner wasn’t around (36%)
  3. Used a separate mobile phone their partner wasn’t aware of (34%)
  4. Downloaded a private or password protected app (34%)
  5. Chatted via a dating app (18%)

 

When it comes to suspecting a partner’s wrongdoing, getting the chance to quickly unlock your partner's phone for a sneaky browse into their sent messages is extremely tempting, but do two wrongs make a right?

 

We spoke to a couple of relationship experts who provided tips on how to approach a partner you think may be crossing the line when it comes to interacting with someone else on their smartphone.

 

Matchmaker, Elle Wileyman, from Mutual Attraction:

“I would say the biggest warning signs of your partner cheating is that they stray away from their everyday behaviour and the time spent away from the person becomes more and more frequent.

 

“When we are in a relationship we know our partner’s inside-out (or at least should!) and suddenly if their routines or behaviour changes without an obvious reason, I think that is the time to delve a little deeper and ask yourself; when did this start? Have I noticed a change in their appearance? Have I noticed a change in their mood? Are they acting differently in any way? Are they being very protective or sneaky with their phones or devices?

 

“If the answer to any of these is yes, I think you are right to be suspicious. For me, these are the main tell-tale signs that something or someone might be interfering…

“I question at what point though or whether at all it is ok to secretly check your partner’s phone. I think if you wholeheartedly believe that the person whom you love and know is cheating on you, the best thing to do is to communicate and confront them. After having spoken to your partner and allowing for calm and open discussion you are still not convinced, perhaps for your own sanity you should go down the “investigative route”.

 

“Whether that be using your own phone to go on “Find Friends” so you can track their every move or sneakily taking their phone away and having a good look; who am I to say what is right or wrong? I think each relationship and each cheating or suspected cheating case is so different and who am I to judge!? What I know for certain though is that communication is key and you must in every instance just talk to your partner first and foremost!”

Martina Mercer, relationship expert and agony aunt at Sunday Woman:

“If you suspect your partner is cheating, don’t go straight for their phone. If they are, the chances are that they’ll keep it very close by anyhow, always in a pocket or close to their person. If the phone is rarely left alone, this could also be a sign of infidelity.

 

“Browsing through a phone, without permission, could damage trust and could make your partner more closed off along with promoting feelings of resentment. Instead, ask if you can borrow it, see if they hand it over willingly, if they don’t, they may have something to hide, but this isn’t always another lover, it could be pictures, or even a surprise.

 

“Other signs that your partner may be cheating include:

  • Reduction in mentioning you on social media
  • Unexplained absences
  • Changes in appearance
  • Avoiding eye contact and deep conversations

 

“Partners tend to go to extraordinary lengths to hide infidelity as a lot of the time they have no intention of leaving their partner and so don’t want to burn their bridges. They want to have their cake and eat it. They also worry about hurting their partner which seems quite absurd and so will avoid spilling the beans until they are caught out and have no choice.

 

“If you think you may be about to cheat on your partner, seek counselling, talk, or separate before you risk a whole world of hurt for you both.”

 

To discover how many Brits confessed to cheating on a partner during the winter months, view our previous blog here.